Fearlessness

This guilt for allowing you to love me whilst I'm ready to leave this world, and while I'm withering due to an occult love that you can't know of, it's engulfing me. It's destroying me. It's lighting everything in a merciless fire, an unquenchable flame. Would you be able to forgive me if you knew? I wouldn't be so receptive if I were you, yet, darling, you have this faith, this veneration, this exaltation, this love for me. And it overflows! It's a sea of love, and I want to immerse myself into it all. I want to leave this caramel desert: this dry, desolate desert. I want you to cast this love off, without fear. Fearless, my love, is what I wish you to be when you're with me. Fearless is what you shall learn to be once you've discovered my sins. Your naivety and faith will save me, if my vice doesn't come for a visit first.

Needs

Hold me as if I were yours; I allude to you as if I already were.
Kiss me like it's our last time; I want to know how much you want me, if at all.

Make me feel like you're my first love.

Carta Anonima

I'm not sure if I should retain all eloquence, and give you nothing but the bare truth, but, my love, I miss you. Did you, or I for that matter, really think I could lie to myself any longer, especially after our minor encounter? I can no longer live this way: an occult lifestyle filled with pensive moments deriving from a plethora of memories you and I created; a multitude of fantasies birthed, all to mirror our moments of passionate love, and all to see if a minute silhouette could even satiate this heart for just a moment.

Perhaps the naivety is returning, or, more likely, I have idealized a tumultuous relationship for my mental and emotional sanity; yet, my love, shall we eschew responsibility and have a moment to ourselves - forgetting any circumstances, any histories, anything else - a moment to convey all truths without any perversions? Shall we allow ourselves to finally be honest with one another?

I shall commence this process:

I love you, and I never stopped loving you, not even for a moment.

Pandora's Box

What will emerge from my curiosity? I suspect bountiful words will become our tool of attraction; distance separates our bodies, but we can convey ideas so sensually by allowing the sounds to escape our lips. Our tenacity has brought us together again, and whatever our demise will be, surely its decadence will be enjoyed; it always had been.

I am anxious to see the fruits of our haphazard vices; I yearn to know the side effects of this renewed collaboration of ours. Shall we keep the antidote just in case? Perhaps we should toss it along with all the cares and constraints we'll soon disregard.

This introduction, this revitalization has opened Pandora's box; pray that the only horror unleashed was nothing but a trifle.

Memories! please be calm, I can't begin to love when you're perforating every attempt. Leave at once! I cannot bear you much longer!

Yet, the delicious and decadent caramel stick.. So invitingly so...

Supposing

Let's suppose I had you here, observing each motion I make: would you find similarities to the woman you once had? Would you take hold of me, and take me to a world only you and I can create? Or would a slight difference drive you away?

Had you approached me the other afternoon, as close as I was in proximity to you, how would have our lives altered? Would we be engaged in conversation right now, instead of me writing hopeless ballads that you'll never read? Or would have nothing changed at all?

I would have given anything to see you stop time again just with the deep inquiries your eyes engaged upon mine.

Caramel vs. Honey

It's peculiar to remember all the times we'd roll around in your bed, emitting a love that would not last but perhaps a month longer. I can't seem to find the passion I used to give: did you keep it all to yourself? I can't kiss him as well as I used to kiss you...

Seeing you the other day wasn't as dramatic as I had predicted, but love, I can feel you here with me sometimes. In this bed, your caramel warmth caresses my memory with the love you had for me, and even though his honey attention is all towards me, I can't lie to myself: I still favor your caramel. We'll probably never embrace each other like we did our last time, but I feel that we both wonder what would come of it if we did.

If I could change that day, the only thing I would alter would be my words: instead of disharmony, I would profess my every emotion, without care of anything. I would tell you I love you until the end of time. I would tell you I love you, not to beg you back, but just so you would know.

But here we are, reaping the fruits of our mistakes, and all we're left with are memories, wishes, and new lives. Can we cope? I hope we can.

Dearest Darling

Allow me to apologize in advance for that which I cannot change. I cannot deceive myself into thinking that I had not loved before you; that I maintained all calm, and did not commit the ultimate act of faith and love with him; that I did not refuse to believe that love was possible after his. I shall not deceive you by saying that I always was fond of you, or that I had hoped for this to happen.

Yet, allow me to be a better person. Grant me the chance to prove to myself, and to, more importantly, you that I am capable of piety. I had not wished to be the corruption in your life, and perhaps I shall be, regardless of our wills. I pray of you to not dismiss me upon understanding the convoluted situation you find yourself in, but I also shall not cross you in any fashion more than what I already have. Although my heart grows fond, my patience will elasticize to each of your needs and wants.

Allow me to eventually love you more than my heart has known. I promise good fortune once I have completely purged myself of all evil, and of all vice; once I have consummated a grieving process; once I have decided to fall in love with you beyond imagination.

Not Again

Colors of jade are hitting me, reminding me of what was.
Can I not escape the torment of last year?
Shall I continue in a life that is gossiped about?
What trials these are!
I do not wish to doubt Fate and her whim,
But my broken soul can only handle so much
I adore him, it’s true,
But darling Life, you cannot harm us intentionally.
Please do not send us into a place that we may not
Be able to get out of.
Please, I beg of you a different life.