Allow me to apologize in advance for that which I cannot change. I cannot deceive myself into thinking that I had not loved before you; that I maintained all calm, and did not commit the ultimate act of faith and love with him; that I did not refuse to believe that love was possible after his. I shall not deceive you by saying that I always was fond of you, or that I had hoped for this to happen.
Yet, allow me to be a better person. Grant me the chance to prove to myself, and to, more importantly, you that I am capable of piety. I had not wished to be the corruption in your life, and perhaps I shall be, regardless of our wills. I pray of you to not dismiss me upon understanding the convoluted situation you find yourself in, but I also shall not cross you in any fashion more than what I already have. Although my heart grows fond, my patience will elasticize to each of your needs and wants.
Allow me to eventually love you more than my heart has known. I promise good fortune once I have completely purged myself of all evil, and of all vice; once I have consummated a grieving process; once I have decided to fall in love with you beyond imagination.
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